Hadith 29
By way of Aboo Zaid Usaamah b. Zaid bin Haarithah, the mawlaa (freed slave) of Allah’s Messenger, his beloved friend, son of his beloved friend, may Allah be pleased with them both, who related, “The daughter of the Prophet (S) sent a message to him [saying], ‘The time has arrived for [the death of] my son, so come to us.’ So he sent a message conveying the salutations and saying, ‘What Allah takes is His, and what He gives is His; everything with Him has a stated term, so be patient and anticipate [Allah’s reward].’ So she sent a message to him beseeching him to come to her. So he set off, and with him was Sa‘d b. ‘Ubaadah, Mu‘aadh b. Jabal, Ubayy b. Ka‘b, Zaid b. Thaabit, and some other men, may Allah be pleased with them. The child was brought to the Allah’s Messenger and he sat him in his lap; his [the child’s] breathing was sporadic (taqa‘qa), so his [the Prophet’s] eyes flowed [with tears]. Sa‘d asked, ‘Messenger of Allah, what is this?’ He replied, ‘This is mercy which Allah, the Exalted, places in the hearts of His servants.’” In one narration, “In the hearts of whomever among His servants He wills; and Allah only has mercy upon His servants that are compassionate.’” [Agreed upon].
The meaning of taqa‘qa is departing and troubled.
Explanation of Hadith
The author, may Allah have mercy with him, [records the narration] related by Aboo Zaid Usaamah b. Zaid b. Haarithah, may Allah be pleased with both of them; Zaid b. Haarithah was the freed slave of Allah’s Messenger; he had [initially] been a slave who was gifted to the Prophet by [his first wife] Khadeejah; he freed him and so he became his mawlaa (freed slave). He was nicknamed Hibbu Rasul Allah meaning: Beloved One of Allah’s Messenger. His son [Usaamah] was also nicknamed Hibbu. So, Usaamah was his beloved and son of his beloved, may Allah be pleased with both of them.
He [Usaamah] relates that one of the daughters of the Messenger (S) sent a herald to him informing him that the time, meaning the time of death, had arrived for her son, and she wanted the Prophet (S) to be in attendance. The herald informed the Messenger of Allah (S) to which he (S) said, “Whatever Allah takes is His, and what He gives is His; everything with Him has a stated term, so be patient and anticipate [Allah’s reward].”
So the Prophet (S) ordered the man whom his daughter had sent, to command his daughter, the mother of this dying son, with these statements:
He said, be patient, that is, anticipate the reward from Allah for your patience. There are some who are patient but do not expect reward from Allah: patient in staying away from disobedience and is not angry [with the decree], but they do not hope for Allah’s reward; resulting, in huge loss of reward. However if he is patient and anticipates Allah’s reward – meaning, he wants Allah to reward him for his patience and to grant him recompense – then this is called al-ihtisaab (anticipating the reward from Allah).
So be patient with this affliction and anticipate from Allah the reward for that. His statement, what Allah takes is His, and what He gives is His, is tremendous indeed. Since all things belong to Allah, if He removes a thing from you, then it was His possession, and if He bestows on you a thing, then it was His possession. How then can you be angry when He takes from you something that [already] belongs to Him?
Therefore if Allah takes from you a thing that you adore, then you should say: this is Allah’s; He takes what He wills and gives what He wills.
This is why the Sunnah teaches that when a person is afflicted with a suffering, then he should say, “We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return,” meaning, we are Allah’s property and He does with us as He wills. Likewise, when He takes away a thing that we adore, then it was His: what He takes is His, and what He gives is His. So whatever He gives to you, you are not its owner, rather it belongs to Allah, and so you are unable to use what He gives you except in accordance with what He has permitted. This proves that whatever is in our possession was bestowed on us by Allah; ours ownership of it is lacking, and we do not have absolute control over its disposal; so if a person wants to have absolute control on the spending of his wealth in a way not allowed by the Law, we tell him to cease because it is not possible to do so; that wealth belongs to Allah, as He says, “Give them something out of the wealth of Allah.” (24:33) This wealth belongs to Allah, so do not spend it in a manner other than what you have been permitted. This is why he said, what Allah takes is His, and what He gives is His, so if what Allah takes is His, then why should we be concerned? How can we be angry with the Owner taking back what belongs to Him. This is contrary to reason and to what has been revealed.
He said, everything with Him has a stated term, meaning, everything has been apportioned by Allah. Allah says elsewhere in the Qur’an, “Everything with Him is in due proportion.” (13:8) [Meaning,] apportioned in its time, place, essence, attributes, and all that relates to it for a stated term, meaning, it is specified. So when you are certain of this – what Allah takes is His, and what He gives is His, and, everything with Him has a stated term – then you will be satisfied. The last part, [everything with Him has a stated term,] means that a person cannot alter the stated term, neither advancing it nor delaying it, as Allah says, For every nation there is a term appointed; when their term comes, neither can they delay it nor can they advance it a moment.” (10:49)
So when something has been predetermined, unable to be advanced or delayed, then there is no benefit in being worried or annoyed concerning it, because even if you are [affected], you can never alter what was been ordained.
The envoy related to the Prophet’s daughter what he was commanded to say, but she sent a message back to him requesting him to come. The Prophet (S) stood up, along with a group of his companions, to go to her. [When he arrived] the boy was given to him while he was gasping: his breath was disturbed, going up and down. The Messenger (S) wept, his eyes shedding tears. Sa‘d b. ‘Ubaadah, who was with him and was the Chief of the Khazraj, said, what is this? He thought the Messenger (S) was weeping out of worry. The Prophet (S) replied, This is mercy, that is, I weep out of mercy for the child and not in dissatisfaction with what has been ordained.
Afterwards, he (S) said, Allah only has mercy upon His servants that are compassionate. In this lives evidence for the permissibility to cry of mercy for the one afflicted.
So when you see a person suffering an affliction mentally or physically, and you weep out of mercy for him, it is proof that Allah, the Exalted, has placed mercy in your heart, and when Allah places mercy in a person’s heart, then he is counted among the compassionate upon whom Allah will have mercy. We ask Allah to bestow His mercy upon us.
In this narration is evidence for the obligation of patience, as the Messenger (S) said, so be patient and anticipate [Allah’s reward].
It is also indicative of a better way of offering condolence, better than the saying, “May Allah increase your reward, make good your condolence, and forgive your deceased.” Some scholars recommended this phrase, however the one expressed by the Messenger (S), what Allah takes is His, and what He gives is His; everything with Him has a stated term, so be patient and anticipate [Allah’s reward] is better, because when the afflicted hears it, he becomes pleased.
To offer condolences, in reality, is not to celebrate, as some ignorant masses wrongly believe it to be a celebration: setting up chairs, lighting candles, readers, and varieties of food present on such occasion. Rather, condolence is meant to bring solace and to strengthen the afflicted, so that he endures patiently. Thus, if a person shows no concern for an affliction: for example if his cousin dies and he shows no concern for it, then there is no need to show any condolences to him. That is why the scholars have said, “It is from the Sunnah to offer condolences to the afflicted,” and they did not say that it is Sunnah to give condolences to the relatives; it is possible that a relative may not grieve from the death of a relative, while a non-relative may grieve, owning to the strength of the friendship, for example, that existed between the two of them.
Thus, condolences are only offered to the afflicted and not the relatives. However, today it is the opposite, unfortunately, the tables have turned: condolences have become the standard for the relatives, to the extent that even if he is pleased with the death of his relative, beating a drum [in happiness], he is offered condolences.
[An example is:] a person is poor and many problems exist between him and his cousin, the cousin then dies and leaves behind millions of dirhams. [Now,] would he be happy that his cousin died or would he feel like a great calamity has befallen him? In most cases he would be happy, saying, “Praise Allah, who saved me from his problems and caused me to inherit his wealth.” Condolences are not offered to this person; if we were to say anything to him, then it would be congratulations.
It is important for us to know that condolences are meant to strengthen the patience and sense of stability of the one who is afflicted with the distress, so the best and most appropriate words should be chosen that convey it, and there can be no better way of offering condolence than what was said by our Prophet (S). Allah is the granter of success.